I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize