this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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