She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I party with great urgency now.
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