My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
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I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
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Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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