Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I didn't notice because vodka
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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