the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize