so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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