I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
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I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
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I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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