why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize