Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
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After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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