she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize