put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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