did you get engaged???
someone threw a dead crab at me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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