you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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