Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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