how can u be prego again
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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