dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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