Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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