so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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