i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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