i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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