so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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