What did we do last night that was yellow?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
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Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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