i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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