Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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