I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize