we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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