We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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