Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize