why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize