so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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