I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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