I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize