I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize