I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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