the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize