I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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