so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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