I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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