My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize