sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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