is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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