U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
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This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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