The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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