I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
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I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
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I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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