She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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