Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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