So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize