i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize