road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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